Of administrators and Donna

I don't think I know anyone who doesn't or hasn't used the internet other than my grandmother. It's raged through society, threatened print media, enlightened the curious, and made life easier. But there are some risks associated with the internet. As many of you know, my name is Administrator. On this blog, that is my name. It's not an alias, it's an definition of the internet phenomenon that is sweeping the globe. The Administrator Phenomenon. In my first ten posts, I've covered things from Bolsheviks to fire-breathing cats. Several folk have approached me, scrutinized me, praised me, and even one has gone as far as to threaten a seizure of my intellectual property. My name, Administrator, is what it is to protect you (and me). Not only can I openly discuss my opinions and stories, but I can urge you to use such an alias for your controversial items.

The Administrator Phenomenon has the world in its hands.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3S08vVaNiP13mmqNHPX6f7N6ULFXhBnOAtHBMTleIK3DQkauqZy1cCsesBr0hqGdApd6WpSg6Ke5quGwAiKANSViGaAzRUBt84ed6py8w7KNvIZOB8t5gdsC4meP-MzBkJ6nFizsPoPE/s1600/earth.gif

I have a disturbing but fictionally true short story of a writer who exposed her true identity on the World Wide Web. The story was originally a poem, but I have converted it to prose so it appeals to even the most illiterate.

Donna and the internet encounter

Donna was a prominent blogger. A legal resident of Tuskawawnee, New Jersey, Donna was more so a member of Blogger. Blogger is an internet construct and tool. Donna began blogging and constructive journalism when she reached her thirty-first birthday. She became an internet phenomenon in what seemed like an instant. Donna's blog, "The life story of Donna Robertson, the woman at 12 Milesview Lane, Tuskawawnee, New Jersey 02492," swept the globe, entrancing people of all ages and cultures. Her story was translated into twenty-four languages by a prominent linguist. It was a dream come true.

With Donna's dreams rapidly becoming tangible, she never guessed that so would death. It was the night of October 12, 2006, an eerily calm night when prominent psychopathic serial killer Charles Manson had just escaped out of a federal prison in New Jersey. Manson had become intrigued by Donna's blog after her butler became Manson's cell mate (he had be incarcerated on thirteen counts of bestiality), and upon his escape on that October night, he instantly began the trek to meet the one and only Donna Roberton. 

At about 12:31 AM on October 13, Manson sneaked into Donna's basement through a window that her cat had previously urinated on. 

Several minutes later, a blood-curdling scream shot through the Tuskawawnee neighborhood and, because of Donna's prominence, throughout the world. Manson had beheaded Donna for condescending psychopaths on her blog. He also ate her cats.

Donna's backyard in Tuskawawnee.
http://blog.nj.com/njv_bill_wolfe/2008/09/large_Delaware-Threat-2-156.jpg

What this means for you and me

We have to be careful on the internet. We can't talk badly about people in the open, especially if they have violent tendencies. I've developed a list of steps you can take to protect yourself when using nonprivate internet facilities, like Blogger.

1. Create an alias for yourself. Let this become your internet name and only tell your real name to people you know, trust, and see in person.
2. Stay away from dating sites.
3. Keep your distance from federal prisons.
4. Do not mention controversial topics like Donna did. These can range from cat hoarding to sodomy.
5. Keep your activities professional. Fools feast on error. 

Prison fights like these show how important it is to avoid federal prisons, both on the inside and out.
http://thenormanomicon.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/mag-1286198736.jpg

Now, to address the scrutiny that I've faced. My name has popped up on various blogs and live conversations. Why? What's wrong with having an identity? And what's wrong with not openly connecting it to my legal identity? Wouldn't that destroy the purpose? The Administrator Phenomenon would come tumbling down to the ground. Here are some things that have been said. Most offenses have been rectified by lectures from the Administrator Phenomenon Foundation on internet safety.

1. "Since anyone with an alias has their identity concealed, they may be encouraged to put inappropriate things on the Internet, foolishly thinking they might not get caught." Last I checked, there's nothing here that's inappropriate.
2. "Please identify yourself...in your blogs. At least to me and others who may be following you. Who, for example, is 'Administrator?'" The Administrator Phenomenon was clearly not properly understood at the time of this comment.
3. "The only reason you would use an nickname is if you wanted to rape someone." I cannot openly criticize the person who said that, as chances are they'll see this post. But, to keep it brief, this is an incredibly false statement.
4. "Administrator is a selfish name choice." Can someone please explain this to me? An alias is a choice, and should not be shaped by others. I've seen everything from Alfred Tikzengreiber to Anus Poison. They're all good!
5. "Administrator is to harsh in his or her comments." The statement is nullified by the severe grammatical error: "to" should be "too."

Alfred Tikzengreiber, the operator of several prominent blogs.
http://www.alfredtikzengreiber.com/

I leave you all now in a final push towards safety. Protect yourselves, your families, your friends from the beasts of the internet. Create an alias now!

-Administrator